Building a natural network in the social sectors

Overcoming networking fear and building an authentic network to maximize your social sector impact and ability. 

I used to be terrified of networking. The original and untrained ‘me’ is awkward in a group of people. The old me prefers reading and working on anything if given a choice between that and a professional networking event. I looked with envy on people who could naturally work a room. These natural networkers were easily able to talk to new professional acquaintances and effortlessly maintained a wide swath of professional colleagues willing to work with them and help them on any issue. Here is the story the old me used to tell myself: 
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“That’s not me, I’m an introvert and shy.”
“Networking is dirty and gross. I’m not like that.” 
“I don’t need to do that networking thing, people will just come to me”

These were my original incorrect and limiting scripts in this area. This type of negative self talk around networking put me into a cycle of fearing those interactions. This in turn limited my ability to connect with others in a genuine way around common interests in work and life. This reduced my impact volume and intensity for many years. 

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After watching others use their network for both personal career advancement and increased professional impact in the social sectors, I knew I had to change. The new me needed to be a comfortable relationship builder who could connect with people to advance my own career and the missions that I care about. The new me had to be able to work a room, to talk to anyone and to develop lasting relationships with people in my field. 

Overcoming these fears and becoming a natural and authentic networker has improved my life and work drastically. I’m still on the road to perfecting my ability to connect with other people who share my passion and totally eliminating my original underlying fears. But making progress in this area has increased my work satisfaction and professional reach. Opening up and improving skills in this area has made work that really matters more accessible to me. It has increased my ability to learn from higher level thinkers and also given me the chance to teach others what I have learned.

Here are the mindsets, strategies and tactics that work for me: 

Mindsets for natural networking
Know how you contribute - Everyone has something to offer in a relationship. If you are more experienced than the other party with whom you are networking, then share that knowledge. If you are equal in experience or less experienced, share your perspective on events. Every high senior social sector leader would want to know what the new professionals in the organization are listening to/thinking/working on. Create a script for yourself that says “I have something to contribute that could possibly help them.. I need to find what that is through conversation and interaction”.
The briefness of life - Don’t take yourself so seriously. Everyone reading this page will be dead in 100 years. In this short time on earth let’s not get so wound up about what everyone might think about us. It’s our job to do our best work in the social sectors and create the best possible life. We don’t have time to be afraid in social networking sessions. Not when those in the room are connected, aware fellow travelers who might speed our journey to mastery or help us make that next social sector project a success. 
Make hierarchy irrelevant - Social sector workers paradoxically LOVE hierarchy and authority, even as we decry social frameworks of discrimination or bias that are the focus of our work. We give the head of our organization too much leeway and respect while speaking out against a social norm we are trying to change. We can take a clear look at our self-created fears around interacting with people we perceive as higher than we are in a hierarchy. On the other side, make time for people who are just starting out in their careers. You never know who has the next great idea, project or job hookup for you and your social sector mission.  

Strategies for natural networking
Know your ultimate network - Write down the type of people that you would like to know. Recognize them more easily when you find them through work or personal life. For me this ultimate network includes people in my core focus area of humanitarian response, but also thinkers in the area of business & entrepreneurship, art, lifestyle design and athletics. I’m working to build this network so that I can build my own knowledge while also sharing lesson from our social sector space. 

Plus, minus and equal strategy - Mixed martial arts coach Frank Shamrock teaches the Plus, Minus, Equals strategy. “Plus” means finding older more experienced professionals to learn from. “Equals” means finding peers to connect with who share interests. “Minus” means teaching your skills and knowledge to social sector newbies.  These three types of people stretch you in different ways and help you grow in a well rounded way.  Earlier in my social sector career I wrongly thought that “Plus” networking with senior professionals was the best way to connect. Those at the top in the social sectors tend to move on quickly, retire or burn out. “Equals” and “Minus” networking means that you are building a network that moves with you as you progress and strengthens through working together. 

Add value to others, they will reciprocate - Ramit Sethi calls this “closing the loop”.  Networking does not mean simply overcoming fear and emailing someone one time to ask for a job at their NGO. If you first seek to understand and then add value over time, you build a real connection, not just through a transactional interaction. People want to help each other and are wired to get a feeling of wellbeing from supporting others. But they also want to be understood and supported for the long term. They want to know that you are a fellow high performer and will follow up professionally and excel with any lead they give you.  Learn and practice the techniques of meeting, following up correctly and building the relationship over time. 
Keep a network list - Find a way to manage your contacts and network in a way that works for you. I started with a spreadsheet. Now I use contact management systems on standard email providers and LinkedIn. Keep notes on the people you meet and what you learned.  It’s difficult if not impossible to retain these details without notes.  Yet the ability to follow up in the future, with a personal connection or memory is invaluable.

Tactics for working the room
​When you are in that social sector networking event, here are a few tactics to form yourself into a natural networker. 

• Talk to someone within 60 seconds - Don’t wait for the fear to set in. Go up to someone and introduce yourself within 60 seconds of arriving at the event. 
  
• Make it a goal to talk to 3 new people - Keep a tally and force yourself to talk to three new people at the event. Think about your goal, not your feelings of uncertainty. Sometimes it will be awkward; keep moving.  The more people you meet, the more likely it will be a valuable future connection.  And most likely, they will feel the same.
  
• One human connection - Out of those three people, make it a goal to have one real human interaction or connection. A real deeper human connection can go much farther than a transactional business relationship.  
  
• Practice the fear scenario until it becomes routine - Schedule time to practice this. This is a skill like riding a bike. It will become effortless over time.
  

Locking in for the long haul
Networking is not about size. Having a small network of people who share a deep connection to common interests and experiences is much better than a larger, more superficial and transactional set of connections. 
I remember the distinct moment when I realized I wasn’t afraid of the networking scenario. Following a workshop that I facilitated for over 100 people in Lebanon, I was genuinely happy to interact with colleagues throughout the event. It felt amazing but was the cumulative result of implementing these mindsets, strategies and tactics over many years. Developing and continuing to perfect these natural networking habits made a massively positive difference in my work and life. 
Have you mastered the mindsets, strategies and tactics to build an authentic social sector network? What works (and doesn't work) for you?

Happy Trails!