Overcoming fear of hierarchy in the Social Sectors

A few years ago I was talking to a friend who works for a Social Sector organization. He is in his mid 30s, athletic, confident and great at his job. However when I invited him to come with me to a networking event where organizational leaders would be present, he refused. My friend had a long list of reasons why it was not possible to attend the event: 


“I hate networking.”
“Those people are WAY above my pay-grade.”
“I’d have nothing to say to those people. What would we talk about?”
‘Those kind of events make me nervous.”
At first I was surprised at his reaction, but then I remembered my own struggles with overcoming a fear of hierarchy in the Social Sectors. Although I consider myself a free thinking and open minded person, hierarchy scared me. 

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At first I was surprised at his reaction, but then I remembered my own struggles with overcoming a fear of hierarchy in the Social Sectors. Although I consider myself a free thinking and open minded person, hierarchy scared me. 
In meetings with people who had higher positions in organizations where I worked, I would tense up when speaking. I would be afraid that my ideas were not valid and deeply worried about the reaction of those above me in the chain. Conversely, I was also scared of the reactions of those I perceived as being lower in the organizational hierarchy.It was a terrible way to live and work in the Social Sectors. It limited the reach of my ideas and my ability to impact my field. 

Last year I was working on a new project that put me in close contact with the most senior levels of a humanitarian response organization. After the final meeting, it struck me that I had transcended my previous hangups around interacting with senior leaders.

This experience made me think about that change. How had I evolved into a comfortable and tranquil physical and mental state in these situations? in addition to becoming comfortable with Natural Networking, here are a few mindsets, strategies and tactics that helped me make this transition:

Knowing that we are all people needing the same things - Instead of putting these senior leaders on a pedestal in your mind, think of them as people like you. These people want to have an impact, be respected and live a good life in the same way that you do. You are like them. They are like you. 

Respect, but also know how to let go - While some senior leaders are obsessed with their own importance, others are eager to hear what the younger workers are thinking and value their ideas.  If you meet some of the former, be respectful, but let it go.

Learn to be uncomfortable (at first) - Though you may be meeting someone who  may potentially have an impact on your future assignments, tell yourself that you’re just making small talk with a new and interesting person. It may be comfortable at first, but more than likely you’ll both be talking about issues that bring out your passion for the field---and it will be fun. Remember your Work and Life Map - How do these people fit with your overall work and life maps? I’ll bet they matter. 

Removing fear up and down the chain - We are often obsessed about what others think of us. I was for a long time. It is possible to be empathetic and care for others without being a codependent victim of their often changing opinion of you and your work. Long term real respect comes from consistent respectful actions and good work. Control your respectful behavior and do good work. The respect of your peers, reports and managers will probably come. But if it does not, their opinions don’t ultimately matter and are out of your control. 

See these interactions are an essential part of building a network that allows you to take you Social Sector mission to the next level of positive impact on the world. 

Happy Trails!